I wanna be a billionaire so effing bad..
..buy all of the things I never had.
Yeah, well, that's really the reason why. But, I also like to be a billionaire now so that my dad won't have to shove harsh words down my ass right now. I'm screaming pain!! And no one's there to hear it but me. Oh yeah, I tried telling a person these things but, he didn't listen. He never listens. And I don't tell other people 'coz, I don't want them to get the wrong impression about my dad. Or about my family. I hide it in because, well, everybody would be thrilled to hear that i'm being beaten by my own dad....
First Day Funk.
Okay..I can't sleep!! It's my fault though. I'm used to sleeping at 3am in the morning and waking up at noon. Well, tomorrow's the start of something new. I should be up by 4:30 a.m.!
The real reason I can't sleep? Maybe because I'm anxious? And I have a really really low self-esteem. All the other girls are beautiful, and not to mention tall. I'm only 5 feet and 2 inches tall. An inch short than some of them, and who knows how much more with the others. Plus, all are fresh graduates except for three. That's me, Marsy, and ate Anna. Marsy does not have any experiences yet, but I know...
Well, who would have guessed..
Who would have guessed indeed..
Okay, third time that I'll be writing this. I'm cooled off now actually. Since I already typed down that long litany of disappointment that I'm feeling. Then my computer shuts down again. $%&*
To sum it up.
I don't hate my dad. I just pity him. Because in the long run. He'll have all the money that he could ever dream of, at the expense of his own family.
Has it not occurred to him that I'm not asking for any more money because I already have a job? It's shame, not arrogance. I am grateful for everything that he gave me, so I'm not asking...
Due to Abbie's note in Facebook, I was inspired to write again.
It's gonna be almost a year since I wrote something down here.
Well..this was not exactly a blog, but rather an outlet of my deepest emotions. Mostly negative emotions, but well, that's when I write best.
So you ask if I'm in a negative mood tonight?
Earlier this evening it was indeed a sad night. Until I got over it in about an hour or so. After I wrote Ansell a letter.
I don't know if I regret the curse words I'd written down. It's half and half. One half I do regret it, since cursing is not really lady-like. And it's...