I have a Japanese symbol done in red on my left arm. It means "The Way" or "Tao"
I have holes in my ears but I have a habit of not remembering to put on earings. lol!
I dress kinda toboyish but I promise I clean up nice when I get into a dress. Love WWE, live music, and cooking for people. I just need to gain trust in people if they truely love me and wanna be my soulmate forever.
Single - Never Married
I've been living with my folks since October 2nd of 08. I was in the hospital before that. Its a love hate relationship with my parents. I'm just trying to get a relationship with my parents again. I have a sister who is 14 and has Cerebral Palsy and I have a brother who is 21 and lives with his fiancee.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
Angel- no wings
Gave it up
Live with parents
I just want to be able to find a friend or soul mate I actualy trust with my life. With every friend or lover I come across, I'm dumped in less than 3 years because they can't commit or keep a promise. I'm in a phase right now where I just chat with people and if they seem nice enough, we can talk on the phone every day, and then we go out. I'm being very carefull with who I wanna be friends or lovers with.
Truthfulness, honesty, knows what a person with a mental health problem goes through and is okay with it (my ex was not). As far as random crap, I like settling in and being a homebody watching WWE telivision or a good movie. I just need a person to get me out of my shell.
Dishonesty, insecurtity, and people who are scared of people with a mental illness. I may have depression but believe me, I'm nice.
I sent Eric a 5 page letter a few days ago. I just could not take it anymore. I had to say somthing. I wasn't the only one who hurt the relationship. And I told him the biggest promise that he broke for me. Last night, I didn't get such a warm response from both. But then again, I was assured I won because the main squeeze came out writeing me a note saying that he will never get back together with me. He doesn't care about me and doesn't love me. Gee, expected to let someone else fight his battles when I strike a coard of his. Then I sent him a text message saying that no one will stop me...
a bad dream just ruins my day
I had a horrible dream last night. Eric came into my parents house and started an argument with me. All I remember is that he made me cry and he wanted to take my cat away from me. So I locked my cat in the closet. He broke down the door and thats when I woke up.
That just made me have a down day even though I'm on medication. I was very distant with my family today, I was crying and my body was acheing all day. I know you all are tired of hearing be cryin about my problems but I'm using this blog as a log to track down my moods. Also, you have no idea how hard it is to let go of somthing...
What is this feeling?
I've been feeling cold emotionaly for the past few days. I have been having trouble saying and taking the words, "I love you". It seems like ever since Eric dumpped me for his main squeeze, I have lost my will to love anyone. Granted, I feel like my cat loves me unconditionally but with any human, I just don't feel love. If you ask me, I think its Eric's fault that I lost my ability to love. Even if I try, it hurts. It means I trust the person and then they shit all over me sometime later. And it now makes me physically sick when the thought of him with another woman comes into my mind. It...
Don't know if I can get over the pain
I had to be at one of the sunglasses kiosks inside the secure areas. I was the only one who knew the product so I had to go. I was thinking of Eric all this time and it hurts whatevers left in my heart just thinking about him. I guess I was wrong when I said I've gotten over him. Its way too hard getting someone who hurt you off your mind. People say its a 12 year grudge thats going to happen all over again but you have no idea how much I take it personaly when someone promises me somthing as big as being my rock or my strength through all the bad times and then breaks it. That mainly shows...